Ex-ReConnected.

I just found out that my last long-term girlfriend is finally seeing someone again.

Actually, to be technically accurate, I found out a few weeks ago, when a small mention of it popped up in her blog. Which she may or may not know that I read. Honestly, if she does know that I read it, there's no reason why she shouldn't mention it. Our relationship is nearly two years in the past.

In keeping with the style of her blog, this mysterious new boyfriend went un-named in the blog. Just his first initial. Which I knew from the past, meant it was the first initial of his first name.

So, I knew that she was dating someone, but not who.
Today, I found out who.

Well, in a separate blog entry, she posted a pic of the two of them together. And he's looking surprised at the camera (the same faux "WHAT? You are taking a picture of ME?" face that I like to make, which makes me look slightly retarded). And she is kissing his cheek.

And I know this person. And his name matches the initial and 2 and 2 make 4, Dear Reader.

Click. Now I know what's what.

And this is a strange place to be. To know something that nobody has told you. A thing that really is none of your business. Which doesn't actually affect your world at all.

He's a nice guy. A really nice guy. I like him a lot. And she's a good friend now. We got past the whole awkward "we used to have sex, now we don't anymore" phase. And yes, there were some hurtful months in there and now we can see each other and joke around a bit. And work together at the theater that we both love, very, very much.

I'm happy for her. I am happy that she has found someone that I know and trust. Someone who is also looking for the same sort of relationship that she is looking for (which I ultimately could not give her). They both want to be with someone that they trust and love. Someone who feels the same way about them. Long term. With familial aspirations there. Kids. Mortgage. Picket Fence. The whole deal. I think they really have potential to find happiness together. Which is what I want for them both.

For my part, I feel really removed from the whole affair. A non participant. I know what's going on and there's a hint of satisfaction from a mystery being solved. But they both really feel a million miles away from me. I feel no ownership over her. I feel no resentment for him. I feel like what they're exploring is a private thing. And I've got no business there.

Which is a surprisingly unselfish thing for me to think. Someone, somewhere is enjoying the happiness that I, myself, don't enjoy. And that doesn't bother me in the slightest. I don't feel lessened by it, at all.

So, good for them. Hooray for two good people finding each other. I wish them a long, happy, productive, satisfying life together. And a smooth transition from "just dating" into "what they both secretly want" and whatever lies beyond that.

Cheers all,
Mr. B.